i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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