a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
