Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
