we have officially lost it.
we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
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