so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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