You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
