i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize