oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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