kristin has been a bad kristin
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
