So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
