i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
