with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
