Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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