ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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