yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Everything about him screamed your future.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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