that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
