I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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