This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
