I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
third nipple confirmed
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
