ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
