someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
