You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
too bad you live with your parents still
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
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And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
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I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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