on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
