just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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