where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
