K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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