Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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