He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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