Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
