uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
