I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize