It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
