there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
