Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
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Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
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Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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