You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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