I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
