I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize