btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
