did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
