What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
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Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
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Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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