is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
