I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
