gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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