thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
