Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
