Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
