I got chris browned last night
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
