We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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