don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
