My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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