I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
