i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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