Small penises have feelings too.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
