So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
