she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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