No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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