Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
