I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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