great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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