Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
