Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
