I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
