he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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