Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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