I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
