well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
