3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Your penis caused this!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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