dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
