Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
