i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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