I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
